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Monday, August 30, 2010

Three things that make my life complete
Are love, laughter, and you, my sweet
The laughter has lasted since day one
Loving you darling, has been so much fun

Our love, now that's a bit more serious
Shining through when our laughter is delirious
Starting the day with love's tenderness
Saying goodnight with a sweet caress

Love, laughter, and of course you.
You bring into my life the other two
From the day we met, and for every single day
Love and laughter in our lives will stay
 

kiss me and make the sorrowful pain go away
kiss me and tell me everything will soon be okay

kiss me and hold me tightly close to you
kiss me and whisper sweet words that are true

kiss me and and lay me on the bed
kiss me from my toes to my head

kiss me here and kiss me there
kiss me all over and anywhere

kiss me softly
and kiss me hardly

kiss me while you caress my hips
kiss me after you lick my lips

kiss me kiss me kiss me more
and if you can't do that at least for once let me through the door

Sunday, August 29, 2010

we never lost our way as long as god give us permit to stay longer

i pray for you ...

to not go from my life

strong 
powerful 
amazing 
this thing can hold anything 
i will my life could be stone

hari ini penuh dengan pikiran
bangun tdr gue udah disugguhi dengan meriang dan demam, yah baiklah sakit intinya gue.
udah gitu gue males bgt satu harian ini ampe skrng aja gue males, bahkan buat nulis aja gue mesti ngumpulin tenaga.. emang sunday weak bgt gue hari ini
dengerin playlist yang berubah-ubah nadanya, ikut deh tuh perasaan gue juga berubah emang susah music pasti membawa suasana hati kita.
huhu udah menjelang buka .
saking gak nafsunya gue sama yang mananya makanan dan minum gue buka pake air putih aja deh . hehehehee
cuek-cuekan gini jadinya
yaudah gpplah yang penting sama-sama tau diri aja.

berharap bisa jadi yang terbaik buat orang lain
tapi kayanya butuh ektra pikiran nih
yang gue binggung knp semua orang pikirian hampir sama yah kalo liat keadaan gue

tibang menibang ayooo maen timbangan .
beranalisa sendiri .
kayanya cita" gue kerja di hukum deh, abis mikir mulu, pilah yang mana yang bener dan gak
sudah lah biarkan saja
toh akan ada jalan yang terbaik yang memang harus gue lalui.. semoga bisa ya allah
amin

bila seseorang melakukan 1 kesalahan maka cari lah 10 kebaikannya , bila melakukakn 10 kesalahan maka cari 100 kebaikannyam, begitu seterusnya, untuk bisa berbesar hati dan memaafkan , dan bila kita tdk bisa melakukannya maka harusnya kita yg dimaafkan dan dikasihani.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

dying inside

I hate when I cry.
I hate when I'm scared.
My life is going by
I can't feel anything, anywhere.

I'm sad and depressed
I'm weak an abused.
I'm told I'm bad.
I just don't know what to do.


apapun yang sedang terjadi sama perasaan gue sekarang , gue cuma bisa bertahan ?
gue hanya bisa mempertahankan , walaupun gue sedih...
gue lemah iya sangat lemah untuk urusan kaya gini ..
urusan yang dimana menyangkut hati pikiran sama perasaan .
sungguh ironis yah? yah mau gimana lagi emang udah jalannya, mau gak mau
yah gue jalanin pahit manisnya .
itung" belajar bijaksana .
belajar ikhlas dan tawakal ...
susah sih emang ngak gampang bgt buat kaya gitu , tapi gak ada yang gak mungkin kan ?
sumpah gue sendiri aja binggung mau mendriskipsikan perasaan gue .
mau bilang sakit iya gue sakit mau bilang perih iya perih, mau bilang sayang iya gue sayang
apa dong gue harus kaya gmn dong ?
binggungkan gue ?
yah mau di apain lagi kudu gue jalanin juga .
mau lari gue kudu lari kemana ?
kehutan atau ke pantai ( ada apa dengan cinta bgt gue )
klo kehutan yang jelas gelap gulita mana bisa gue liat jalan. makin gelap dong pikiran gue, senter aja belum tentu bisa nerangin jalan gue , klo ke pantai kayanya mlm ini gak ada bulan deh . sama aja gelap , sepi lagi cuma ada gemercik air laut, suara ombak langit dan pasir pantai, lagian klo gue kepantai bukannya makin lupa eh malah tambah keinget sama msalhnya, maklum punya memori indah di dermaga cinta ( hahahahaaha )
set sempet amat gue ketawa , yaudahlah yah gak apa" ketawa di atas tangisan sendiri gpp, gak ada yang larang juga.
dari pada gue lari ke hutan atau pantai mending gue di kamar indah gue aja deh .
kamar gue yang selalu setia nemenin gue dari sedih nya sama senengnyam dari anjingnya gue sama manisnya gue, klo tembok bisa ngomnong dia bakal bilang kali yah " cape gue liat lo begini mulu, cheers up dikit napa "
tapi kamar inilah yang bikin gue bisa tegar, berfikir dan belajar arti hidup.
kamar yang gak pernah gue nyalahin lampu atapnya , yang selalu gue nyalahin adalah lampu meja gue , kuning warnanya , dan itu indah dibanding lampu putih , duduk manis dan menulis atau menangis atau bahkan gue berfikir dikamar ini gue melakukannya , tahun 2009 adalah tahun dimana gue berhenti menulis, karna jujur kadang gue lelah dengan harus mengungkapkan perasaan gue hanya dari tulisan , tapi gue menyadari hanya dengan menulis gue bisa bercerita bebas , FREEDOM WRITING .
dari cerita manis dan pahit semua gue lontarin dan gue terjemahkan ke tulisan .
mau tulisan itu baik atau baik tapi yang jelas itu buat gue jauh lebih tenang .
semua yang terjadi pada diri gue adalah bagian terindah dalam hidup gue , mau itu buruk sekalipun.
gue akan tetap menganggap itu indah karna dari sini gue bisa menjadi lebih baik dan bijaksana.
dari pahit gue bisa belajar memberikan manis kepada orang lain
dari sakit gue bisa memberikan obat penawar buat oranglain
dari sedih yang gue dapet gue bisa memberikan kebahagian buat orang lain .

buat gue gak ada yang jauh lebih indah memberikan yang terbaik buat orang lain, walaupun kadang semua gak sama, tapi disini gue belajar ilmu ikhlas yang tuhan kasih ke gue .
dengan mengikhlaskannya , gue udah belajar untuk bisa mencintai diri gue sendiri dan mencintai orang lain
dengan semua ketulusan yang gue punya
dan gue gak takut buat itu..
karna gue sadar bahwa saat orang lain bahagia udah pasti gue juga bahagia ..

terimakasih

what you see ? just perfect body without soul and faith . pathetic yes i am
just a beautiful picture without light. see me now and you can feel my pain
it hurts me so much , but i dont know why i still believe in you.
i close my eyes so i can see the truth , i hope this will be end as soon as possible .
my heart feel so dark inside , its so hard to explain , but its happen to me

only tears flooded my eyes , like i feed my self the pain
like im sitting alone in the corner of my room
just feeling blue :(

no one know what i feeling tonight, between a broken glass and the white roses i cry
i hope you can fix it , and i hope i will be fine...

There's a cold dark corner
in the back of my room,
it speaks to me
and says I'm coming for you.

As I lie on my bed
in the fetal position,
my eyes are closed
hoping and wishing.

Maybe that one day
my dreams will come true,
that I don't have to be here
so down and blue.

The corner keeps talking
about how I'm going to die,
all I can do
is lie there and cry.

As the corner gets closer
and takes me in,
my soul starts to burn
as so does my skin.

My bones shall lie there
turning to dust,
my bed surrounding
nothing but rust.


tired

as I write your name upon my wall
I die inside
my vision starts to fade
can you feel me slipping away
into the depths of hell
where not even you can reach me.....


sadness

I don't know what to feel
Heart is dead
Mind confused
Don't know what to do

Feel sad for many reasons
lie, lust, hatred
Can't handle it all

Eyes crying
Body dying

No sound of hope
Just quiet humming
And distant echoes mourning

BUTUH TENAGA EKTRA

Emang udah di takdirin gak kuat mah gak kuat aja, kenapa mesti di cobain dah, ya ampun acid-acid bikin orang panik aja lo.hahahaha udah itu bagian cerita bego gue malem ini.
tapi hari ini gue cukup mengerti arti sebuah kesabaran, kadang kita gak tau batas-batas kesabaran .
sebagian orang mikir klo sabar itu ada batasnya.
TIDAK buat gue , batas sabar itu yah kita sendiri yang nentuin, bukan org lain atau di tentukan secara alami, selama hati kecil masih bilang sabar , yah sabar itu akan selalu ada ( pengalaman pribadi nih ).

cukup menyedihkan bila sabar itu dibatasi, karna sesungguhnya sabar, iklas, cinta dan pengertian itu gak pernah ada batasnya. disaat kita bersabar kita akan belajar ikhlas dan saat kita ikhlas kita akan belajar unuk mencintai, dan disaat kita sudah mencinta kita kana belajar untuk mengerti, semua itu tidak memilik batas, selama kita mau mencoba .
ada kata-kata yang membuat saya terbentuk seperti skrng.
" tidak ada yang tidak mungkin selama kita mau mencoba "
" tidak ada yang tidak bisa selama kita mau berusaha"
kata" inilah yang buat malam ini saya berfikir kembali.

pada masalah yang datang, saya yakin saya mampu melaluinya,
kadang tuhan memberikan kita awan kelam, memberikan kita kegelapan, semata" untuk bisa mencari sebuah kecerahan diluar sana, bagaimanapun caranya hanya kita yang tahu.
dia hanya menujukan arah nya , selebihnya kita yang jalanin

hari ini saya mendapatkan pelajaran yang sangat berharga, bukan hanya hari ini tapi kapan saja , dimana saja saya mendapatkan pelajaran tentang hidup 


- Jangan pernah menyerah hari ini karena kita tak tahu apa yang akan terjadi esok.
-Pada saat hidupmu berjalan jangan terlalu sering menatap ke belakang, sebab saat kamu melihat ke belakang, kamu tidak akan tahu dan tidak akan siap pada apa yang akan menghadang kamu di depan nanti.
- Hidup ini dimulai bukan saat semua dimulai, tetapi hidup ini dimulai ketika kita mengira semuanya berakhir. Itulah awal hidup yang sesungguhnya.

beberapa kalimat itu saya dapat , setelah saya memikirkan langkah apa yang harus saya ambil buat menjalami hidup saya agar jauh lebih bermakna.  

Friday, August 27, 2010

"LUCIFER"

Dia adalah putra Allah Roma Aurua, dengan nama Yunani adalah Phospheros. Dalam Agama Romawi, ia adalah tuhan kecil, Allah Pagi Star1, 2 Lucifer dalam bahasa Latin berarti "Pembawa Terang 'dan dewa Romawi yang berhubungan dengan planet Venus, yang dikenal sebagai Lucifer dalam astrologi Roma sebelum Venus, putri Jupiter, dipromosikan dari vegetasi untuk Dewi Dewi cinta dan kecantikan dengan nama planet dalam honor.3

Ada sumber Alkitab yang mendefinisikan Lucifer sebagai setan. Bahkan, kata Lucifer adalah tambahan pada Kitab Suci di tempat dari kata Ibrani, Heylel, yang merupakan nama harfiah Venus, dan, Shahar, yang hanya berarti "Bintang Fajar" atau kadang-kadang diterjemahkan, "Anak yang Morning '. Kata ini merujuk pada raja-raja Babel dan gelar yang mereka gunakan untuk mengklaim hak ilahi untuk memerintah. Artifacts seperti Cyrus Cylinder, mengkonfirmasi pernyataan tersebut dibuat oleh raja-raja di dunia kuno.

Raja Babel seperti Raja Nebukadnezar, yang menurut budaya Babilonia, entah disembah sebagai Allah, atau seorang agen atau anak Allah dan judul sangat umum yang mereka berikan kepada diri mereka sendiri. Menurut Daniel, Nebukadnezar diberikan segala kuasa dan dominasi atas umat manusia, binatang-binatang di padang dan burung-burung di udara, dan di mana mereka tinggal. Allah menjadikan dia penguasa atas mereka semua dengan gelar Raja segala Raja; 4 per judul juga diperuntukkan bagi Raja Persia, Artaxerxes5; dan dalam kekristenan kepada Yesus Christ6. Dengan cara seperti itu, orang yang memiliki kuasa atas binatang di ladang, burung-burung di udara, dan atas umat manusia, memang punya kekuasaan yang didasarkan di surga dan dipanggil dengan gelar, Light Bringer, Morning Star, Anak Pagi, dll dan kehilangan otoritas seperti itu pasti dia jatuh ke bumi.

Dalam semua kenyataannya, tidak ada sumber kitab suci yang mendefinisikan Lucifer sebagai setan, dan tidak memiliki deskripsi apapun Iblis menjadi Malaikat Terang yang memberontak melawan Allah dan dilempar keluar dari sorga dan berubah menjadi ular, setan. Kata Latin telah ditambahkan ke teks Ibrani oleh Jerome pada abad ke-4 dan sebenarnya orang pertama yang pernah hadir kepercayaan bahwa Lucifer adalah ular di Taman dengan Adam dan Hawa. Selain itu, alasan untuk sesat dan tidak akurat Jeromes terjemahan Heylel, dapat ditemukan dalam politik agama di dalam gereja itu sendiri. Salah satu musuh utama Jeromes (setan berarti musuh) adalah Uskup Cagliari, yang juga bernama Lucifer Calaritanus, yang mendirikan Luciferians. Berharap bahwa sindiran itu sendiri cukup kuat untuk mengutuk Uskup Cagliari dan para pengikutnya sebagai bidaah, Jerome berharap memiliki ide-ide dan gerakan mereka dihapuskan. Pada abad ke-7, Agustinus terfokus pada Vulgata penerjemahan yang salah dan menambahkan lebih banyak ide dari malaikat bernama Lucifer yang memberontak terhadap Allah karena kesombongan dan membawa turun 1 / 3 dari angels.2, 7

you've made me feel back in one piece

middle of the night when the pale moon when the unrest continued to greet the soul from the bottom of the bridge tunnel night when you always have wiped sweat snoring all accompanied in each lonely and desolate that holds my dreams almost every night was a deaf and dumb

peered silently from behind the booth curtain taste has faded presence was not thought to open the door of the heart throne in the highest altar of the soul emits a light in every corner of the empty space illuminate dimly lit quiet loneliness

I might have captured the love or whether indeed she is a beauty that I missed during this or she is longing for itself that gives peace I think it was he who now fill the empty heart she who is now an elf at heart

I ask the dew was foggy at the top at that time with the departure location at the foot of the crater lip white mist have I left a message for him ... also in edelweis. about the immortality of love I also scratched the red calcareous soil on rocks covered with thatch I write with a clear 'you've made me feel back in one piece "

such twilight that do not want to leave leave the sky horizon as well as I that never could have left him without a care as there is always a hum of dawn for the morning dew as well as I want to always be there for him

though maybe I'm not perfect enough for him to have because I was just a fraction of flakes who wanted me to meaningful life though maybe I'm not beautiful enough to decorate her because I was just blown dried leaves fall time

but ... .. I will try to always care I will try to understand and comprehend I will try to always love therefore for him ... hopefully I can ....

ONLY YOU CAN TOUCH MY HEART


Day by day, my love for you becomes so overwhelming till I can't handle it when I don't see or talk to you for even one day! You make me feel wonderful. You give me strength when I just can't carry on. You make me smile and laugh a lot and I truly treasure that.

I apologize straight from the heart for ignoring and being rude to you whenever you make an attempt to make me feel better when we're done quarreling. You are a very patient man, and I thank you for that. I don't ever want to take advantage of your patience, not ever. I know I over react a lot, and I'm sorry.

You are the most wonderful thing that has EVER happened to me. I thought that I would never find a love that is as strong as yours before. But now that we've found each other, I've changed my mind. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, the person I want to get married to, the person I want to have kids with, and the person whom I want to grow old with. Baby, you complete me. You make my life so brilliant and I don't know how else to repay you but to love, care and support you more and more. You're the star in my sky - the one and only star. You make me feel beautiful, very beautiful. Thank you for giving me your all.

I can never imagine how it would be like if we were to lose each other. I don't even want to think of it, Baby. All I want to think of is you. You are the love of my life. May God bless your beautiful soul. From the bottom of my heart, I love you.

what happen if stop believe in love ?

What happens when you stop believing in “love”? At first, you feel an excruciating pain and loss like no other. You feel like you have been lied to all your life that this thing called “love” which is supposed to be the one thing that fills you and makes you whole is a “cosmic joke”. You become cold and empty inside and life becomes colorless. With the joy and beauty gone you just get through the moment instead living. Some one can hold your face in their hand and tell you they love you but you do not believe it or you wonder “for how long”? When you crave the touch of another person, you let some one use you because there is no point in looking for some thing more in their eyes other then lust. To you “love” is just an illusion that fades the moment you try to touch it. It is not real and the pursuit of it a waste of time. Life no longer feels like an adventure or a journey it begins to feel like a clock ticking off the seconds until it winds down and you can sleep and dream. There in your world of dreams you can remember what it was like when you still believed in “love” and remember how you where filled with wondrous tingling when your love touched you. However, you always wake. It was not a choice you made willingly but when it fades again and again, you are forced to face the fact that “love” is just a word and means nothing at all. The devastation that realization causes, only happens because you fight the reality of it for a while but soon you except, as you do any loss, and go on with life. This is what happens when you stop believing in “love” as I have.

I no longer feel this way, I am not going to stop believing in Love, I know it is real because I have felt it

what happen if stop believe in love ?

What happens when you stop believing in “love”? At first, you feel an excruciating pain and loss like no other. You feel like you have been lied to all your life that this thing called “love” which is supposed to be the one thing that fills you and makes you whole is a “cosmic joke”. You become cold and empty inside and life becomes colorless. With the joy and beauty gone you just get through the moment instead living. Some one can hold your face in their hand and tell you they love you but you do not believe it or you wonder “for how long”? When you crave the touch of another person, you let some one use you because there is no point in looking for some thing more in their eyes other then lust. To you “love” is just an illusion that fades the moment you try to touch it. It is not real and the pursuit of it a waste of time. Life no longer feels like an adventure or a journey it begins to feel like a clock ticking off the seconds until it winds down and you can sleep and dream. There in your world of dreams you can remember what it was like when you still believed in “love” and remember how you where filled with wondrous tingling when your love touched you. However, you always wake. It was not a choice you made willingly but when it fades again and again, you are forced to face the fact that “love” is just a word and means nothing at all. The devastation that realization causes, only happens because you fight the reality of it for a while but soon you except, as you do any loss, and go on with life. This is what happens when you stop believing in “love” as I have.

I no longer feel this way, I am not going to stop believing in Love, I know it is real because I have felt it

SOMETHING

I just trapped inside the confusing situation that make me wanna laugh, cry , yell, scream dan die .
actually i dont know it is !!! seems like the feeling that so hard to tell and out from my mouth.
so strange and out from reality. im bored of everything around me. and im just lost trancelation...
so pathetic i am . but right know there something that always make me happy if i think about that something that cheer my life up , that make me smile i dont know what if feel like nerveus a smile in the face  , a pushing , an interested , a way to start something new, a belief a trust a love or even a jealoosy and  i hope a feeling like this always there on my mind and never get away, something that i lost but now i found that,
i hurted a couple years ago, there is something make me crazy , something that i could treat me to good life and now i just thinking about something that full my mind for this couple days i know that so hard for me to make something tha fall in my arms and into my heart but i always try thought. i know its so stupid , but i believe couse god always gives the way ...

finally

finally i created a new one, cause i have forgetton my old blog.

apa yah buat mengawali blog gue,
lagi gak semangat bgt gue buat nulis,
kebiasaan udah hilang gitu aja ..
sesorang mengingatkan gue akan menulis
yah masih binggung gue mau nulis apa ?
tapi yang jelas gue harus bisa nulis lagi ..

thanks guys